Ever feel like Chess.com needs a touch of more courtroom drama? βοΈ
Well, fret no more! Introducing your one-stop shop for justice—the traveling gavel of fairness, wielded by yours truly, the self-proclaimed freelance Chess.com judge. π¨ My "moving courtroom" can be set up in any club, at any time, ready to hear cases and deliver impartial verdicts. Whether you're suing a rival, resolving club conflicts, or simply seeking peace, I’m here to deal with matters in the most peaceful and entertaining way. βοΈπ
Bring it on! I may only have one case under my belt (and let’s be honest, it wasn’t exactly the OJ Simpson trial), but I’m ready to take on the chess world—one dispute at a time. π While there’s no payment required for my services, bribery is allowed—because who doesn’t enjoy a little extra motivation? πΈ
And hey, while you're here venting about your chess woes, why not unload the baggage of your everyday life on me too? πΌ Consider me not just your life consultant with questionable qualifications, but a black belt in cynical advice π₯. Think of me as the Cynical Advice Hotline π. Past clients (let’s just say my Yelp reviews are... interesting) will tell you I’m the best at helping you navigate bad decisions and point out the obvious truths you've been stubbornly avoiding. π§ π‘
So, come for the legal theatrics, stay for the potentially life-changing (or at least entertaining) guidance. βοΈπ¬ Silence the court! The freelance judge has arrived! π§βοΈ You won’t regret it (probably). π
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